A Light in the Dark Place

Since posting our blog, we have had an overwhelming response from many of our friends and family. Along with the prayers and well-wishes have come advice and information. One of the options that a friend shared with us is embryo adoption. We had never heard of this and did not know that it even existed. Even though it seemed that we had closed the door on a pregnancy for me, all of a sudden it seemed as if a miracle option had appeared. Out of curiosity (and, I admit, a burning desire for a baby), I began to do some preliminary research.

What I found is that many families who chose to undergo IVF treatments are left with embryos that are frozen, and, for whatever reason, are not going to be implanted. Many parents find themselves in a moral quandary as to what to do. Do they destroy the embryos? Some consent to donation.

There are agencies available that facilitate matches between prospective adoptive couples and donors. Adoptive couples seeking embryos can also advertise or use word of mouth to seek out donors. Many of the sources that I found were donors who were seeking open adoptions where siblings could be raised near one another. We find this to be very far outside of our comfort zone and are not at all interested in such a situation.

Embryo adoption consists of matching with a donor and then the defrosting, transfer, and hopeful implantation of an embryo. The procedure itself requires only a few minutes and is less than half the cost of IVF because it does not include the retrieval and fertilization of the eggs. That step is already done. The quality, retrieval day, and the number of embryos all matter when considering adoption. Parent medical history, as well as a physical description, is often available.

Right away, I began to wonder if this could work for us. Out of the sadness and grief spawned from our circumstances and the reveal to our friends and family rose a new hope.

Because I wanted to know if I was a candidate for an embryo transfer, I called the ICRM to find out if they would be willing to perform the procedure, if we were to find a donor. When they returned my call, it was the coordinator of the embryo adoption program on the other line! Behold, our fertility clinic had its own program and we did not even know it! (There are several reasons for this- when we went in for our consultation, we were only interested in IUI and not IVF, which is what the embryo transfer would be considered. Because we did not want to even consider IVF, embryo adoption was not mentioned.)

Perk Number One: ICRM has its own program for embryo adoption and it is completely anonymous and closed to both parties.  

Perk Number Two: Because I have already had my evaluation, medical testing, and genetic screening, all that we would need to do is a water ultra sound to see if my uterus is capable of carrying a pregnancy, and a psychologist’s evaluation.  

Perk Number Three and my husband’s personal favorite: the ICRM does not charge a program or facilitation fee. You pay for the medical procedures only.  The cost of all of this is around $5,000 per implantation.

Perk Number Four: No fertility drugs needed. While I would have to go on estrogen, progesterone, birth control, and one other thing I cannot remember, I would not need the undergo the battery of fertility meds because we would not be trying to stimulate ovulation.  

Perk Number Five and then I promise I am done: If it works…

We could have a baby, an adoption, and a pregnancy.

If it works.