A new perspective

One of the many challenges that people face in life is the difference between expectations and reality. When we are confronted with new information or situations that force us to adjust, reevaluate, or abandon our plans, this can be very painful. Maybe it’s just me. Or maybe it is just that this has happened a lot in the last two years. 

We want a baby. We can’t have one. 

We want to build our family through adoption. We can’t afford that. 

Embryo Adoption looks like a good option. We follow the process and get pregnant- exactly what we wanted! With triplets. Not what we wanted and certainly not what we expected.

Now, please don’t misunderstand me. We are so grateful and we love these growing babies. But, we did not give in to the moment of temporary insanity that gripped me days before our transfer. I wanted to transfer three embryos. I wanted to make sure that we had the highest possible chance of getting a baby. Thankfully my wise husband said no, that the reality of triplets is not something that we wanted and so we should not risk it. And here is the irony, of course. The less than one percent chance of getting triplets when we transferred two embryos did not even factor in to our decision. It could not happen to us. 

Oh, but someone is in that one percent. Never forget that. Those numbers that I clung to so much all through our journey really did matter. Statistics are made of people. 

Lesson learned.

Back to my point. We did not intentionally seek out triplets. We got them as the biggest surprise of our lives. And it is oh-so-complicated. 

We just wanted a baby. What we got was a high-risk pregnancy full of more potential for complications and problems than we could have possibly imagined at that time. This has required yet another huge re-alignment in our thinking and our expectations for the future. And this one is so painful because the overwhelming terror that I feel is mixed in with joy and hope. We could have three beautiful babies. But we have a long, long way to go. It is one day at a time, for sure. 

It is this painful transition between our expectations and our current reality, between our greatest hopes and our worst fears.

And no one can tell me that it will be okay.