Sunday, September 9, 2012

I am broken, too.



We were on vacation in Oregon when the phone calls started.  It felt a bit like being repeatedly pummeled in a boxing ring with an opponent who outweighs you by fifty pounds.

Brian has no FSH or LH hormones due to his cancer as a baby, and, even with fertility meds, has zero likelihood of ever producing a child. “Complete testicular failure” they called it. 

I am a carrier for Cystic Fibrosis. There will always be a chance that I could have a baby with CF, even using a donor, because they are unable to screen for every possible mutation.

My blood work came back showing my low “ovarian reserve.” This is a number between 1-5 that rates how many eggs you have left remaining based on your age, etc.  I came in at 0.48.  I could tell by the surprise in Jennifer’s (Dr. Slater’s nurse) voice that she was stunned by the results as well.  By all accounts I am perfectly healthy. I have regular cycles and always have. However, my likelihood of having a baby is very small. 

So, the options for me include an ever-increasing drug cocktail of several different fertility meds and multiple ultrasounds every month to see if they worked. Also, we still had the daunting task of deciding on a donor and then face the realities of the risk of having a CF child. 

The cost became the deciding factor. All of the drugs and procedures would be enormously expensive-and it might not work. If we were going to go to that much trouble- if we were going to put my body through all of that- we wanted a guarantee. 

Later on, it became about more than the money. How do we justify spending all of that money on a pregnancy? There are millions of orphans around the world in need of homes and parents who love them. We began to feel very convicted about pursuing infertility treatments.

Based on all of this, we closed the door on a pregnancy for me. When I told my mom, I told her that we would not be having a baby because I was broken, too.

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